Imagine you're racing through a forest to get to a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You enter a rather thorny area of the forest. THWAP! You're gashed across the face by a thorny branch. How do you respond?
Some people would stop and tend to their wounds, and even head back home. But an especially determined person might use the adrenaline from the thorn encounter to run even faster.
The distinguishing factor between a person who stops and a person who continues after resistance is determination. But why is one person more determined than the next? Is it genetic? Is it an emotional status? Is it a choice? Is it a simple result of how much you desire something?
The One Requirement for Determination
Do you know a single person who is determined to run on the sun? Probably not, because the sun is 9,941 degrees Fahrenheit (about 5,000 Celsius) on the surface and they'd die before touching it. People aren't determined to run on the sun because they don't believe it can be done. You might say that they'd have no reason to want to do that, but when you think about it, successfully running on the sun would be one of mankind's most impressive achievements. It's just so far out of the realm of possibility that we don't consider trying.
In the
sports videos article I wrote, those athletes must have had some semblance of
belief in themselves or their chances, which enabled them to continue and get the unlikely win.
Am I saying that determination requires strong belief? Not quite. More accurately, determination requires a lack of complete disbelief in the possibility of success.
If what you'd like to do genuinely seems unfeasible to you at the moment, then what?
If you don't currently believe, you must suspend disbelief (a skill).
We are attracted to emotional concepts like motivation, determination, courage, and fearlessness, but beneath these seemingly emotion-driven behaviors are skills that can be practiced (and improved). One of the things I like to do is find these non-obvious actions that can train us to develop favorable emotional attributes like the ones listed above. Suspension of disbelief is one such action that can develop the emotional attribute of determination.
If you've ever seen a determined person, you'll notice that they seem to ignore the reality of the situation they're in. That is exactly what's required for determination! Being determined is still trying even though things haven't gone well or perfectly. In contrast, a person who is not determined has processed and accepted the current reality instead of fighting for the reality they want.
Determination Example: You want to be a great painter, so you set up your canvas, grab a brush, and get to work. After a few hours, you take a step back. It's a lousy painting. I mean... it's really bad. You painted a turtle, but he has purple eyes (why?) and it looks like his neck is broken. It's not even bad in an "artsy" way. The current reality of your situation, then, is that you can't paint well. If you accept this reality, you won't touch a brush again. You'll say, "I tried that and it didn't work for me." But if you ignore that current reality and the associated doubts, you won't have total doubt in your painting ability.Maintaining the possibility of success enables you to try again.
You're not seeing yourself as a terrible painter who's about to paint another catastrophe. And with each lousy painting you paint, you get better at it. You learn. Your turtles have non-broken necks. You now have a chance to become good or even great at painting.
The person who tries and fails and immediately gets up to try again doesn't have a secret sauce that gives them superhuman determination. They either genuinely believe they can do it, or they've suspended their disbelief in order to keep trying. That's all you need for determination.
If you already believe in yourself, that's easy. You'll keep trying. But if you're struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, you'll need to suspend disbelief. There are two ways I know of to do that.
Two Ways to Suspend Disbelief and Activate Your Determination
Belief is a function of what you expect to happen. You believe the sun will rise, meaning you expect it to rise.
One way to suspend disbelief, then, is to simply remove expectations from the equation.
1. Remove expectations
Examples:
- Work out without expecting any particular result (just see what happens instead of expecting a poor workout or poor results)
- Paint without expecting either a masterpiece or a lousy purple-eyed turtle (just see what happens)
- Go socialize without expecting fun, laughter, arguments, or anything else (just see what happens)
To remove expectations, think this semi-magical phrase: I'll just see what happens
Not only does this remove pressure to perform, it suspends disbelief by removing it as a factor in your decision. Thinking, "I'll just see what happens" means that it doesn't matter what you believe, because you've decided to take action and experience the result rather than speculate about it.
2. Use Your Imagination
Disbelief based in reality has an easy fix. Simply enter another reality.
We step into alternate realities all the time. Any time you watch a TV show or movie or play a game, you're entering into a fictional world and you'll accept it readily for entertainment purposes. We have powerful imaginations that make this possible, and we can use them to actually change our reality. Since we act from our beliefs, when you change what you believe (temporarily through imagination), you can dramatically change the way you act and perform (and persist!).
I love to play basketball, and I got much better at it after I graduated high school. It wasn't because I developed drastically better skills, it was because I started believing in the skills I had all along. I've seen this in others, too.
A couple years ago, I played basketball with a guy who clearly didn't have a lot of talent, but he believed he was amazing for some reason. While he wasn't nearly as good as he thought he was, his irrationally high self-belief helped him play pretty well. Then just last week, I played one on one against a guy who was extremely skilled, but he didn't seem to realize how good he was. He played as if he were a lesser player than he was, and he lost because of it. If he had the mindset of the other guy, he probably would have beaten me.
Here are two more extremes to show the potential impact that imagination can have on your perspective and behavior.
- Imagine for a second that you're the leader of your country. Now, you feel like you have the right to contact almost anybody. Celebrities. Leaders of other countries. Anyone. You feel powerful and important.
- Now, imagine that you're a sewer rat. That changes things! You feel like you're not even allowed to step foot in a restaurant, because everyone will scream at you and jump on top of the tables and chairs. You feel like a rodent in every way.
To apply this to your life, you might imagine that you're the greatest [insert your occupation here] at work, and it will likely improve your performance in that area. You can also imagine scenarios to get yourself going. If I imagined this was the last blog post I'd ever write before I died, I'd put in even more effort than usual to make it impactful.
As an aside, using your imagination does not mean you're crazy or that you're going to lose track of reality. Suspension of disbelief through imagination is a temporary measure taken to achieved a desired effect.
In most cases, the desired effect is some sort of positive action or attempt.
Life is all about trying things and taking positive actions, so the next time doubt gets in your way, suspend your disbelief by removing expectations (bypassing belief and experimenting) or using your imagination to create a more powerful reality.
Cheers,
Stephen Guise
